5 Tips for Explaining Adoption to Your Biological Children

Adoption is a beautiful thing that allows loving families to share their love a little more. If you already have children, however, you have to explain adoption to them. 

How can you explain adoption to your biological children? We’ve compiled five helpful tips to help you have the conversation and get your children excited about the adoption. Keep reading to find out how to do it!

1. Be Honest

Children are often good at sensing when they are being kept in the dark about something. If your child feels that you are keeping something from him/her, it may even stress him/her out.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to introduce the idea of adoption early on. Some types of adoption can take years before they are finalized. However, it’s always best to tell your children early so they don’t feel surprised when adoption plans proceed. Otherwise, it can be overwhelming to children, especially younger ones.

Talk about adoption and discuss with your children how it makes them feel. You may even give them a rough timeline for how long it might take for the adoption to be completed.

2. Answer Questions Patiently

Your child will likely have a lot of questions about the adoption. They may ask easy questions like, “Will I have to give up my room?” Or they may ask hard ones, such as “Why would a mom want to give away her baby?”

Take the time to patiently answer each and every question your child asks. The more you discuss adoption with your child, the more s/he will understand it and accept it.

Your child will probably be feeling a lot of emotions too. Make sure to be there for him/her emotionally.

3. Remain Calm and Positive

Different children will react differently to the idea of adoption. Some kids may burst with excitement at the idea of having a new brother or sister. Other children may be more afraid of change and have a difficult time accepting it.

No matter what their response, be prepared for it. When you remain calm and positive when your child becomes upset, it will be easier for him/her to accept the idea of adoption. Rather, if you become aggravated, upset, or angry, your child probably will hate the idea of adoption even more.

4. Keep in Mind the Age of Your Children

It’s always a good idea to explain the adoption in an age-appropriate way. 

For example, if you have young children who may not fully grasp the concept of adoption, talk about the birth family. Even if you don’t know anything about the birth family, you can say things like, “Her birth mother loves her so much and wants her to have a brother like you.” Discussing adoption in positive terms that the child can understand will help him/her better understand the situation. 

5. Include Your Child in the Preparation

Including your child in the process of decorating the new room and buying toys, diapers, and formula will help your child come to terms with the situation. It will also help your child feel involved in the process. 

When you include your child more, s/he is less likely to feel left out, forgotten, or even jealous. Rather it’s a way for your son or daughter to build excitement and develop an understanding of what is going to happen.

Talk to a Professional Adoption Agency

Adoption agencies are centers that help adoptive families get in touch with birth mothers. 

They can help you complete the home study and create an adoption profile. All in all, an adoption agency, like Texas Adoption Center, can help walk families through the entire adoption process. If you haven’t yet, be sure to find an adoption agency that you would like to work with. The right agency will help the adoption process run smoothly and efficiently!

Rosie M. Jordan

Hello my name is Rosie. I am a 36-year-old SAHM to an energetic little boy called Andrew. We love reading, Toddler Sense, the library and trips to the park. To get in touch you can email us rosie.babyvenue@gmail.com

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